I'm trying to write as if no-one but me is reading this, which is very likely the case. So here goes. I've read about ego death so I'm familiar with the concept, in fact I've read accounts of this so-called death from a number of so-called adepts: Irina Tweedy, Hafiz, Mevlana, Gurumayi, Swami Muktananda and a few regular people, meaning they have not written any books and are known to few, but you know that they know in their own quiet way. As all of this is playing out I'm noticing that I am frantically trying to distract myself from any form of present moment. Feels like I'm falling down a steep slope, everything saying "No, no no!" ("!"?)
And then the Present Moment bursts in on me in the most peculiar ways at the oddest times, in really ordinary places. It's like being ambushed by timeless bliss.